Just today, my mom was telling me the need to focus on my studies and stop giving tuition class. The whole world probably tell me the same thing, about the scholarship that I have and how it is enough to support me. The other day, a friend of mine also felt that I don't seem to be bothered too much by my examination results. Maybe I ain't the same Kian Hin a year back where examination results matter to me.
Life ain't just about going through the examination period. Of course, the same could be said about money. That life ain't just about having more money.
I am working because I want to be independent.
Because I see the need to start taking care of myself. For I know and truly believe that one does not qualify to talk about change, or even helping others if they could not even take care of their own expenses.
I am in a way at a dilemma, for I want to take the actuarial paper next year but part of me isn't confident enough to do that with my recently dropped results. A pointer at around 3.5 ain't what I expect for my first sem. Of course, I knew I have only myself to blame for wasting so much time in university as well.
But deep down inside I know I can do it.
To go through this sort of life for 3 years are bearable for me. I can handle it.
That's what I believe in.
I change, and I will admit that money matters to me, but it's not that I'm doing anything against my own principle for the earnings. I only want to support myself and I've done it for at least around the past one year.
The next semester will begin soon and I am already on fire to prove to others that I ain't just another average dude. Lol! I like the way Evon put it in her blog..."I'm just not a piece of the big jigsaw puzzle" and I'm going to do what it takes to be part of that piece. Haha!
This is about a new challenge for me. I wanna be excelling in my studies as well.
But I didn't want it to dominate my life.
I change and I think it is as simple as that.
I didn't wanna talk about change and making a difference til I could see myself making much changes and differences among the lives of those closest to me.
This is a new beginning...