July 29, 2008

For her...

afraid of the camera, afraid of a lot of things and yet moments together has been cherished.

Some people wonder why I seldom blog about her.
Some people question my love for her.
Some people look at us as two people from different planets.
I hope that those who are close to me will begin to understand me and know that the past is the past. For me, she has been someone that I need, love and care for now.
Her name is Yen Leng.
What is love?
I will tell you what is love.
When I am busy working and not having a single moment to stop for a lunch, she would told me that she has prepared lunch for me, the only thing that she know...hotdog and bread. She would buy me my favourite drink, Coke and told me to drink it when I am thirsty. She would not forget about orange juice as she felt it is better to drink orange juice after eating food like hot dog and bacon bun. To me, that is love.
When I went to university to study, she would buy me a pack of biscuits of different brands and remind me to eat it when I am hungry. I am busy and she would told me, eat it when you have time. To me, that is love.
When I came back from university, she would not be too quick in wanting to meet me. She will tell me that "You need more rest." Although I know that deep down inside her, she would want to see me and hug me, I know she wants a better lifestyle for me than a hug for her. And yet I make it a point to see her every week I come back. To me, that is love.
You see, I am a very hot-tempered guy. So whenever I get angry or anything, she would be doing what she knows best, crying. Haha! But that never fails to melt my heart. To me, that is love.
If I were sick, she would be smsing me, worrying about me and though not able to do anything, she would always told me to drink more water...etc...To me, that is love.
Sometimes I might break my promise as I am busy with work and she knows it too well. She might get angry a bit but she wouldn't mind doing something less "significant" with me. To me, that is love.
She is not a very smart student. She knew I spent hours teaching her before STPM. She felt bad for disappointing me. She would cry when she couldn't get her university entrance not because of her but because of me. To me, that is love.
She is a Buddhist. I am a Christian. But she would go to church with me and now even read the Bible. She would learn to know what I know so that when people look at us again, they will never say we are from two different world. To me, that is love.
I will not try to convince people that we are perfect for one another, because when I am with her, though at times I might be angry or seems to be unhappy, I know deep down that she has been wonderful all the time.
I was struggling with my studies...she called me for assistance. But I love her and would not say no to such simple request. And while I might be doing things that I know for her, she has been doing what she could and what she did not know for me. To me, that is love.
For while I thought I love her more, she love me even more.
When I thought I give my best for her, she has given me everything.
There is not a single day I looked back and felt I made a mistakes. Being with her has been one of the most wonderful experience in my life. She might not be the smartest of all I know.
She might not be the prettiest that I know of. She might not be as good speaker as many that I know of and yet her being there for me...the little smile on her face never fail to light up my day. To me, that is love.
I want the world to know that I love you.
Love, Kian Hin.
Let´s talk about love

This is my love story

Boy meets girl and looks in her eyes
Time stands still and two hearts catch fire
Off they go rollercoaster ride
Up & down and around...
Twisted all out they minds
And then his friends
Said "its too soon to settle down"
And then her friends
Said "he's a playa, slow it down"
They couldn't be who they was
Cause it just seemed like love
Wasn't on they side
But this isn't ...

Just another love story
Together we'll make history
I know because it's just too real
They'll be no end to our love story
And this ain't gon end up
Like that Casablanca movie...no
This ain't no fairy tale or fiction
This is truly
Ours for all eternity
They'll be no end to our love story

Ay bay bay it won't end, won't end, won't end

They'll be no end to our love story

July 25, 2008

Award Day on 7th August

I was surprised to receive that call. I was in the car, driving when I received a call from Great Eastern.
The lady asked..."Do you want a good news or a bad news?" after introducing herself. I was like...."erm...good news..."
Just at that point, she said "Congratulations! You've been awarded the Great Eastern Scholarship" and surprisingly my response was like "oh...ok..."
LoL! I could not believe I said that, as though I don't really care about it. To be honest, I'm quite happy as I was not expecting it as I felt I did quite badly in the Assessment Day. But nevertheless am happy to be given this financial aid and more importantly is the fact that I am going to work for Great Eastern in my first 3 years after graduation.

Alright...that is about Great Eastern scholarship.
An announcement for all my friends: Carey has lost her mobile phone....so just for those who want to contact her, probably you should consider emailing instead.

July 24, 2008

A day out with Jo Ee, Evon, and Carey

It is just difficult to live in an environment where almost everyone speak Mandarin. I guess that is what "Bananas" feel about it. Yesterday went out with some Michaelians and indeed it is a great experience to just be eating dinner together, window shopping and practically talking all the way.
To some, we might not be adaptable enough to understand the proverb, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."
However I felt that it was because we have strong principles and stands in our own lives which is why we won't simply follow the crowd. For me, to learn Mandarin would be a good experience provided that the people I mix with ain't looking at the language as if it is a superior language. I have no problem at the moment with those contacts from UM at the moment. In a way, I do click quite well with these people as they're funny too. (like some of my old buddies back in St. Michael...Boon Tat, Tuck Yuan and some others.)
Anyway we were talking about creating some logo and slogan to be printed on a T-Shirt..."Say NO to Chinese speaking freaks", "I only speak English", some Bananas' club. Haha!
Well, it is indeed great to be out with these friends and have a good time together once a while. We were planning for a weekly outing but probably I'll opt for a fortnightly outing...(is there such a word actually? Haha!)

Today I called my girlfriend (Yen Leng) to have a short conversation with her. OMG! Though I've been back to Ipoh weekly and spend time with her, she still miss me lots. Like small baby...haha! But I really do love her and will do my best to make her happy.
I realized that I seldom blog about my girlfriend and I felt that I should start doing this more often. Haha! Some friends of mine who saw her photos in my PDA was asking me how I court her and to be honest, I think it is really because of my looks. (ceh wah! Haha! Just kidding...I think probably is my sincerity and my heart for her and the people around my life.)
Some people will be questioning things like "Why do you like her?"
I think it has to start with the fact that she has been a very good friend to people around her lives and I was drawn by the inner beauty...(it is difficult to talk about that in public...loL!)
And yah...her cute cute gesture that always manage to make me laugh.

I guess being away from Ipoh for a few days weekly make me realize how important close friends are to me and how much my family and girlfriend mean to me.
Although I anticipate the working world, I would hope to build a small community in UM...a community with people who would care for the last, least and the lost.

July 23, 2008

Forget about feeling good

Probably it is weird to read of the title in my blog.
But honestly lately, this has been part of my thoughts.
I realized that be it in relationships, religion, or any other things, what most people seek after is the "feel good" factor. And that is exactly what makes the world becomes more disastrous day after day. I was thinking about stories I learned in St. Michael's Institution, church and other communities and it hit me that I am so damn proud of my school simply because of the heritage we have. Not the big building but the spirit behind it....the care for the last, least and the lost.
Just the other day I was talking with Mun Siong and to be honest, I appreciate her sincerity to talk to me about my "spiritual walk" with God. And though we may disagree on a lot of issue, I am indeed happy to know this friend.
I would love to talk about some of the "uncertainties" in Christianity...things that just make you think twice before joining the Christian community but I felt that is what is needed to have a disciple of Christ instead of another Christian. Though through the process of questioning and thinking creates a lot of "not so good feel" factor, I believe it is necessary to go through it and be real about our faith.
I realize that there are two groups of people around the world....one group who will make it through in life while the other will fail tremendously. Not that I am supporting any of the group but from my observations, I felt that people who are able to do exceedingly well in activities and academically simply because of that urge for "acceptance under the system". Being in UM, I've seen people who will join the activities to be accepted into the community. I felt that for someone to be part of the activity, there should be a sense of understanding and objective in it. But these group of people aim for popularity and is indeed on the right track for successful lives ahead. While the other group who fail tremendously are probably people who are lazy and hate the "hardwork" required to stay on par with their peers.
So am I in anyway part of any of these group. Probably I am drawn to the first group of people and yet the more I felt that I am part of it, the more I want to reject it as I seen the "hypocrisy" in most of it.
It seems that coming through these phase will be even more difficult than I imagined it to be. For me to be real with my faith and values and yet continue to strive to do well.
Being richer will make someone else poorer seems like an evil idea to me and yet I was in everyway part of this system.
The longing for a new wave of change...the dream for a new Kingdom is burning within me and to be saying all these and not able to do anything seems hopeless.
Forget about feeling good...these thoughts are probably what requires within every individual and community to be making this world a Better Place to live in.

My university life

I am sure a lot of you have been wondering why is it that I do not keep my blog updated and alive. There are a few reasons and part of it was because of the connection and partially because of the void I felt in the campus. I knew that I could choose to be active and very much involved in the college and university activities and yet I have chosen to live a "low profile" 3 years in KL.
I felt that before I further elaborate these, it would be best for me to describe a bit of my UM experience. To be honest, the community in UM isn't really that suitable for me, at least I felt it that way.
For some reasons such as:
- Too many Mandarin speaking dudes...not that I anti-Mandarin but I felt that the only way to respect others is to first speak a common language and being in university, it should at least be Malay or English.
- The racial tension is still there...probably this is the reality in this country. Chinese mix together, Indians another group and Malays another group. As for me, no particular group that I mix with.
- The authoritative mentality among the seniors. (not that I was struggling with any as I did not really bother about asking favours from seniors) but a lot of my friends have been talking about their seniors. Some using their power to pikat girls...while some influence others to do things. I felt that these people are just immature to be in university. It would be better off for someone who could only managed one A to be in university than having people with such perspective inside. What sort of education system are we promoting?

Alright...I guess enough of complaints as there are of course good things in UM as well, such as the few buddies I have now. Probably without them, my uni life would be totally just smsing and studying. I have been jogging inside the campus. (running in hilly roads train stamina much better I believe.) and the library is awesome...a lot of good books inside. My faculty is quite far from my residential college and so a lot of traveling at times but I am getting used to it.
And I also know some friends who would be finishing their tutorial...a good situation for me...loL! I can copy...haha!

Besides that the room condition was okay but the toilet...ahem! I shall not comment.

Okay...back to the "low profile" life that I was talking about. I believe being in university and having to travel back to Ipoh weekly will take up much of my time. Plus I'm teaching tuition now so I felt that it would be better to just avoid any activities as it would take up too much of my time. And of course I felt that there really isn't much learning through the activities beside knowing more friends.
Well, I guess at the moment this is all I wanna share.
To my friends: Take care! Love you guys!

July 16, 2008

Change is only an illusion

Change is only an illusion, according to Zeno.
The change that we observe everyday is only an illusion.
For if A is to travel to B, A need to first arrive at the half of B. And before reaching at the half of B, there is another half to be reached, which eventually keeps happening but it is impossible for the half to be another half and another half and another half.
Plato says change happens, but there is actually only happening in this visual world. For there is another realm...another world, which is the world of IDEAS and FORMS.
It reminded me of what V (V for Vendetta) said, "For behind this mask, there is more than flesh. There is idea."

Probably Samuel been wondering why didn't I update about my university life until now. I wish I could say more but again, I am running out of time. Need to on the run again.
At the moment, digest these thoughts...=P

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