August 28, 2008

recall how friendship grows and moves on for some....

Time flies....another week has gone.
I wonder what useful things that I have done, besides prepare for my mid sem test and taking them. Not that difficult, at least I felt that it was easier that usual.

I am tired, probably due to the work load and pressure I put in for myself....so I just decide to lay back and rest a little, reminds me of how friendship looks like for me during the last few years.
In my Primary days, I have this friend whom I'm very close with....at least until Std 2 or somewhere there as I remembered him going to Australia. I only hope one day I might just bump into this friend again and said how much my childhood has been wonderful because of him. After he left, I did not mix well with the rest...probably I am too childish to understand friendship at all.
The first birthday party that I went to is him...Eugene...that's the name...Eugene Leong. If you ask me for the full name, I couldn't recall it as well. But that's how friendship start make sense to me.
(Not to forget my childhood friends in my neighbourhood, Heng Fai, Leong, Loon and many others who are also my relatives.)

Moving into Secondary school, from Form 1 til Form 3, the friends that I am close to is Kei Joe, Jonathan, Jian Yao, Jun Hao, Kok Hwa, Alex(went to USA), and some others. But then I was never close to my school friends, at least not extremely close as in sharing problems...(not the age to do so I guess) but Jian Yao is also the man responsible for bringing me to church.
It's in my secondary days that I mix well with these people until they leave.
These church group people are in the TIMOTHY CELL family.
When I first joined in, I'm a rookie....with people like these who are much my senior. (Kian Lun, Edmond, Xue Nian, Jason, and others.) I must admit I never had the opportunity to know these people as they left a short while after I joined TIMOTHY. It was at these new stage that people like these become more familiar to me, Anne, Sara Ong, Joash, Jonathan Chiam, Petrus.
And not to forget the my cell leader back then, Liang Hin and if I'm not mistaken, Aunty Esther was the leader for a short while when I joined until she shift to another group, with Aunty Lindy coming in instead.

Then TIMOTHY slowly grow....with additional people coming in, Sharon Yee for a while, Yoke Mun, Ally, Keith, Addie(Addie brought a lot of friends in but most of the names I couldn't recall it completely which is why it's missing. sorry for the bad memory), Kah Weng, Samuel Choo, Yoke Kuan, Rocky, Chir Eye, Sze Mei, Kevin Wong, Alicia (shifted from another cell), and the numbers continue to be added on daily...alright, I exaggerate a little here....and it was here that I learn to communicate. (I remembered having people asking me how I converse with people and break the ice....blablabla)

And these circle of friends are what create part of me today, KianHin.

It was the during my Form 4 and 5 that I began to know more people from other cell groups as I was one of the active people in the church....you can see me in prayer group, worship team, cell group, outings, evangelistic...probably it was more like people tend to want to know you when you are "someone", not that I am anyone at the top but at least there are differences that one can see.

Of course my Form 4 and 5 school friends also play crucial role in building up the character in me, especially my communication with the Malays. I find them nice to mix with, friendly and humble. People like Khairul(he sat next to me in Form 5 and I taught him a lot of the subjects and it was fun time learning together), Navaneethan (Form 4...my first friend in 4sc4 besides those I already know I guess. He's hardworking but I'm damn good at Add Maths....so sorry...loL!)...not forgetting Cheon Yuen, Jun Yee, and Au Yong....(the happennig trio in my class) and the basketball player figure, Weng Fai(also my primary school friends actually). Then, there are people like Kumara, William Liew, Chan and Cheng Sai Mun(these people are still close friends of mine....people that I cherish). Kumara and William have been my friends ever since Std 2 if I remembered correctly, and in a way, I have a closer relationship with them.

End of Form 5...a total different scenario...a shift from church to school. Probably the disconnection I went through being part of the leadership team in the church create another me.
At this point, I am only close to Jian Yao, Addie, Samuel Choo, Liang Hin from church. The rest begin to have their own stories....some bid farewell some don't.
It was in this new phase that people like Siew Wei, Kee Cheong, Evon, Kumara, William Liew, Boon Tat, Chee Lupp, Kho Kha, Jessie, Kok San, Sin Hau, Keith Foo, Carey, Yen Leng(my girlfriend now), Guo Jian, Teik Tzuan, Hon Meng, Chip Wai Tien, Pei Yin, Sun Chean(I forgot how to spell his name as I'm used to the cantonese name), and many others from Sc1.

Actually there are more as I do mix with some from other classes as well but if names were to be written then it will not come to an end.
Yes, I miss school life!
Yes, I miss my friends, church friends included.
And yet I know the reality that friendship has its' limit and there will come a time that we all have to say goodbye.
I already experience some happy goodbyes and some not so happy goodbyes.

Today I am moving again...shifting into the working world and though many wonder why so fast want to get into the working world. I couldn't really give a definite answer, at least not at the moment...at the moment, I just want to recall of how friendship shape me....

August 22, 2008

A bit of politics here...


I don't want to always be seen by others as an opposition of the government because really, I believe the same goes for fellow bloggers and Malaysians, that we really are more concern to have a better leader and government. And today I believe some credit should at least go to our Prime Minister, for his effort to know about our current public transportation system. Whether Pak Lah is only trying to put on a show or not, that is not the question here but more importantly I felt the initiative taken here. So, if the government can keep these sort of efforts, I believe Malaysians will be willing enough to accept the government with open arms.
I also think that recent debate by both Lim Guan Eng and Koh Tsu Koon is something positive that we can be encouraged of. I believe when it comes to CAT (competency, accountability and transparency) philosophy, it still need more practical steps.
Nevertheless, I shall not dwell too long on politics as I believe I am far from that phase of life yet. For the coming by election, I wish that the winner will play their role sincerely and with integrity.
All the best Malaysia!

August 21, 2008

the forgotten stories....


I was busy through the day, from meeting up with friends, tuition, studies, assignment and family time. But then I felt responsible for neglecting so many little stories around me that seem less significant. The pain of those who lost their loved ones...lately a friend of my mom lost her husband. It makes me wonder how love is for people in such situation.

Just the other day I was hearing stories about how bad "other race" are compare to ours. I did not respond to any of it and yet I felt something is not right here when we are blaming on other race, while actually we are all the same...where is equality in such conversation?

And the constant talk about war...has anyone care enough to know how these people actually continue to live their lives?

I have been too busy for work, I must admit that in some ways I stop playing my responsibility as a fellow citizens of this world...was just reading about global warming and it hit me that how our Earth is dying even more faster day by day thanks to our own "agenda", "dreams", "stories"...whatever you call it....you can't justify your act. The same can be said here...




It is burning faster...

And not to forget that it is melting as well...


I know I could not do much by just blogging here. I need more than just blogging...yes, ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!

Just the other day, Jian Yao asked me to fetch him along as we go out...I believe it is a good practice...carpooling....save petrol...save the World. But then I hope I'm not the only one paying for the petrol also la..haha!
'Nanti habis pocket money...haha!'

I was reading from the internet on the steps we could take against global warming.

  • The next time you buy a car, choose one that is highly fuel efficient. Your choice of vehicle is probably your single most important environmental decision: for every single gallon of gasoline burned, 20 pounds of carbon dioxide go into the atmosphere.

  • Instead of driving alone in your car, join a carpool, take mass transit, walk, or ride a bike -- anything that reduces the amount of gasoline you burn.

  • The next time you buy an appliance, purchase a highly efficient model. You can tell by looking for the Energy Star, awarded by the Environmental Protection Agency.

  • Ask your local electric or gas utility to perform an energy audit of your house or apartment. Then put the recommendations into practice.

  • Develop a plan to reduce daily electricity use around your home. Ask each member of your household to take responsibility for a different electricity-saving action.

and yet all these actions could only reduce the effect, not even at the point of fighting against global warming.

I believe that the world no longer need a superhero like how Christians read from the Bible any more. There is a need for a community work done together...because what the world needs are not "one superhero"...watch Dark Knight (Batman) and you will see how the "BATMAN" figure alone cannot change the world, and that lies cannot change the way the TRUTH is for Harvey Dent. I sincerely believe that beyond the face of every individual is that one common value we all have...love, whether it be a selfish love or a generous one. The question is how are we suppose to practice love for the common good as well.

And here are some other individual actions that can help to bring a great significance to this Earth. You don't have to do all but if everyone is part of these, the world will definitely see a better HOPE.

Action Pollution Reduction (Pounds of Carbon Dioxide Per Year) Percent Reduction in Annual Emissions for Average Person Potential Annual Energy Bill Savings
Replace 5 commonly used light bulbs with low energy spiral (CFL) bulbs 1,150 6% $50
Set a computer and monitor to "power down" when not in use 300 2% $15
Use less hot water by installing a low flow showerhead and washing clothes in cold or warm water 850 5% $40
Purchase ten percent of your electricity from a green power source such as wind, solar or geothermal 625 3%
Adjusting your thermostat two degrees cooler in the winter can save more than 5% on energy bills, and setting your theromstat two degrees warmer in summer can save 10% or more. Alternatively, you can use a programmable thermostat to adjust temperatures by four degrees autmoatically while you are at work and sleeping. 2,000 11% $100
Purchase an energy-saving washing machine or refrigerator that has earned the government's “Energy Star” label 475 3% $25
Turn your water heater thermostat down to 120 degrees 500 3% $25
Keep your car off the road to and from work one day per week by teleworking, carpooling, riding a bike, or using public transportation (Savings based on a 10 mile trip to/from work) 1,000 6% $125
Use a car that gets 10 miles more per gallon than what you currently drive 2,850 16% $350
Keep your tires properly inflated, improving fuel economy up to 3% 250 1.5% $30
Eliminate one trip by car per week by stringing errands together (savings based on a 5 mile trip to the store) 500 3% $60
Plant six trees 300 2%


I knew I am tired, really...at times I wonder where are people that will actually stand for me, and be with me when I am tired, help me when I need one and understand this "untold feelings" within. But there are more than "ME" in THE STORY. I've been a victim of some selfish kind of love and I could not sit to wait and see it being pass on.

Change...Change the MAN IN THE MIRROR...

August 19, 2008

Keep holding on...

I felt rejected, alone...nothing could describe these "inner thoughts" better than the two words.
Probably it seems hard to be feeling this way for those who look into my world, with a girlfriend that stand by my side in times of loneliness and yet it is difficult to ignore the reality of these feelings or the emotion within.
the support when I grow weak...

I knew of the fact that I am going through a phase of transformation, moving from kianhin to KianHin. I find it tough to accept the "perception" of those close to me, especially those who wonder why I could not find them hanging out with them.
For those who felt that I no longer am part of their group, I could only keep holding on to the memories we had together.
It is difficult to be meeting up and hanging out with everybody when one need to work, spend time with family and girlfriend, study and travelling almost every week. Even the break that seem long for those actually does not really look like one for me.
I am growing up and I knew the responsibility I need to take and be actively doing it.
Part of me yearn for the freedom of leisure and relaxation but the inner me know the journey that I want to take and be part of.
My loneliness cannot be replaced with moments spent with those around me, because while the rest yearns for sincerity in friendship, I would hope that you will check your own heart as a friend. It is 'hurtful' to know of people who kept saying "You got your scholarship. No point working already. Why can't you spend more time with your friends? How come there isn't any communication?"
I could only say my dream goes beyond my scholarship and that if you are really a friend at all, there should at least be a sincere wish in my next phase of life. But the truth paints a clearer picture that my dream is not theirs, and that it is pointless to beg others to anticipate my own excitement and story.
I need a break....yes, maybe a break from "friendship" itself. I need to see this world once more, from a new perspective...I am tired...

August 17, 2008

University life a long way to go still...

While hearing many different stories from my friends regarding their university lives, it makes me wonder how is it possible that I am not having much stories to tell about this. I was one of those people who have lots to share when it comes to anything but probably I have change. I am at a different stage in life and there seem so much to be done that "university life" don't seem to fit in for me.
Probably tuition should be put to rest, and yet those who do not work do not eat. There is a need to take responsibility for the things that we want in life.
I just finish reading one posting from Jo Ee's blog about changing the world. It seems quite a while since I blog about things like that...have I lost that passion? I believe not. In every way, I wished to be part of the change for better in little ways that is possible.
I used to remember this from my time in a camp, when a friend told me about making positive changes in a big scale, and to do that you need to be SOMEBODY to do that. I believe I am working towards there, in everything that I do and work for.

It must be a waste to throw away my university life this way, I believe but I almost even more rest assured that the experience that I am going through will enrich the values and meaning in this journey.
As for now, I must thank my friends for their constant sharings and updates about their lives..at least I get to see a glimpse of what it means to participate in the university activities.
And really, it means lots to have friends who are willing to be part of your life, even as one march on to the next phase of life.

August 14, 2008

My new bunch of friends in UM

I know I have not really been blogging about my new found friends in UM but I guess it is time now that I am closer to them. Although life in UM has not been really that interesting for me, at least I am not looking at it that way, these few people definitely help to lighten my days in UM.

Here are some snapshots of them...

the guy who sit with me by coincidence and yeah, we became friend. (his name: Kar Chen)


the girl who is bold enough to speak to me in English. Honestly an interesting person to hang out with...closest to her among the rest.
Introducing to you Christine...












And this is the ever quiet Hweh Fen...well, maybe she is only quiet when talking to me.












Alright, here is a bit about them...at least from my observation:

Kar Chen, a very kind and friendly person but probably a bit too shy. A good company to be with, and yah...he is the only one of the group that actually participate much in the CC activities.

Christine, someone who is quite "kedekut" when it comes to money but still very friendly and nice to hang out with. Not to forget the funny gestures she has naturally...haha!
Well, anyway she is the one that is more willing to talk to me, probably she is better in the English language...which makes communication better. Anyway thanks a lot for being a good friend and company.

And not to forget about Hweh Fen...I might not be that close to her but somehow I felt glad to have these community of friends....really, it makes me more part of UM than I felt it before.

Well, these three are the closest to me...but there are other new friends lately, erm...namely Choon Foong, Chee Leng, Man Fye and some others.
Here are one final snapshot from the Library Carnival in UM....

the low quality from my PDA phone...ish!! make me angry only!!


Well, still the same after another trial...aih! Now I know the importance of camera...and I shall bring one with me next time...haha!






August 07, 2008

Award Day

Today have been quite a tiring day as I went for the Award Day. Waking up at 6.30 in the morning and taking LRT to Jelatek plus some walking. Nevertheless am glad that it is finally done. No more interviews for the moment...no more of travelling to Great Eastern from UM.
Anyway I guess so far life in university has been pretty much the same for me as I chose to be anonymous...avoiding activities and keeping a low profile. Probably I prefer to go through these 3 years in university not doing much.
Haha! Well, here are some of the pictures I took.

so 3 in years in uni...another 3 years in Great Eastern, that will make it 6 years...aiks! Haha!

Group photos...to be honest, I'm not ready for the snapshot yet.

Life is Great! I better get used to saying these words...=P

And by the way, I have to maintain my CGPA at 3.50 if I want to get the full scholarship...haha! now the pressure pile up! Haha!







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