A friend of mine who read my blog recently told me something: "Your blog lost that substance it used to have." Well, I am sorry if my blog brings no more meaning to my readers because I guess at the end of the day, this is the place where I voice out thoughts, stories and random snapshots to the world.
To be honest, I was a bit surprise. What do you mean by substance? I thought sharing stories of mine should be strong substance enough than debating about the existence of God, because at least it is a conviction that I live...not mere words, and yet there are those who would prefer to read intellectual notes, thoughts, words and dreams of others. If you are my friend, my brothers and the people who understand me, surely things that bring joy to me would have some meaning to you. If that is not substance, what is it then?
Anyway, I'm totally okay with the comment because I too agree with her statement if the definition "substance" simply means intellectual thoughts and words.
Recently, I read a lot from other people's blogs. I couldn't really write down mine because I think a lot of these big dreams and words are nothing but "bullshits".
I have read about people talking about their dreams..about becoming big and achieving great things. Surely all of these are good things and yet, it hit me again and again when I think about making more money and achieving more great things.
There are those out there who aim and strive to be "outliers" and yet we forget that so many of the others that lack the advantages we have to achieve that aim. Even as I am writing all of these, I too am guilty like everyone of these people because I failed to see beyond success. I failed to understand the pain and misery that others have to go through. Maybe it is pointless to be feeling sorry for others if I could not even take good care of myself.
And maybe this is part of life. When you want to help others, you will also need to learn to be selfish. That is the system in it. Look at the rich and the poor. While the poor is always living for themselves, the rich could have extras to do charity and yet, how many of these rich people actually live a selfless life to be successful?
To be honest, I am out of words. I used to think it'll be cool to be a SUPERMAN kind of person, but I've seen so many superachievers who have thoughts only for themselves that I think sometimes, what makes a SUPERMAN is "selfish" ambitions...
With these thoughts in my head, I am sure you will understand why is it so hard for me to write about anything regarding my conviction at this moment...maybe being selfish is part of life, and I need to do things that I must do, for my own sake at times...